N Is For Naturist
That's right:
Naturist, a noun, a person who embraces the nudist lifestyle.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a naturist myself but I have no problem with them. Live and let live, I always say.
However, I do have one rule that I think applies to naturists:
When you run a bed and breakfast winery that is ALSO a
naturist retreat, I think you should mention that on your website.
If you’re
not going to mention it on your website, then, when a nice woman from Oklahoma
calls to make reservations for a romantic weekend for her and her husband, you
should probably find a way to slip it into the conversation.
True Story. Last summer I thought I was booking a romantic
getaway for Opie and my anniversary and I was actually booking us a weekend at Club
Nude…or Naturist.
No, the hosts didn’t (thank God!) greet us at the door in
all their naked glory…but there were brochures exhorting the benefits of the Naturist lifestyle (with pictures!) liberally spread all over the entire building. And there was a big sign over
the hot tub that said “No swimsuits allowed in the hot tub.” And every item of clothing the hostess did wear had some sort of slogan about being naked. And there were a bunch of nude decorations. And all of their wine names had some variation of the word naked in it (though to be fair, the Naked
Cowboy was pretty tasty).
And they kept assuring us we could take our clothes off anytime. "If you want," they said about 10 times. "Whatever you're comfortable with, whatever you want."
What I wanted was NOT to debate nudity with STRANGERS who were older than my parents.
And call me a prude, it didn’t feel natural at all.
Ha! Ha! I would have died. We have a nudist colony about 10-15 miles from my house. It is hidden away in a grove of catalpa trees. Thank goodness I have never seen it!
ReplyDeleteI was so relieved the hosts didn't strip down when we were there, I don't know what we would have done!
DeleteLOL!!!! Augh! This is incredibly hilarious and terrible all at once!!!! I'm not sure we would have stayed and I'm pretty sure I would have demanded my money back for not being made aware. lol Good for you for sticking it out.
ReplyDeleteQuestion: DId you visit the hot tub??
We got in the pool (with suits!) but not the hot tub--I was too afraid they'd try to enforce the rule!
DeleteI nominated you for the liebster award. Check out my post if you're interested! You have awesome stories.
ReplyDeletehttp://5heartsonefamily.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-number-11-liebster-award-post.html
That's awesome, thanks!
DeleteOMG! How awkward. I am so prudey that I would have felt very uncomfortable around naked people haha. A great story to re-tell though! :)
ReplyDeleteThat was the only saving grace--the story I knew I'd have to tell later!
DeleteWow!! How funny! I can't imagine how awkward that would be. You would think it would say something in their advertising or when you talked to them to set it up. If you have time, and want to, you can check out my N post.
ReplyDeleteI know--I went back and looked all over their website when we got home but there wasn't a single mention of it. AWKWARD!
DeleteWorth whatever you paid for the amusement and story value - you'll talk about this for years :0)
ReplyDeleteSo true! We laugh about it all the time.
DeleteYou're right, there is something SO not-natural about being nekkid in front of strangers. Even so, I'm getting an urge to have you book my next vacation, since yours seem to be so adventurous...gerbil balls, haunted houses, and more.
ReplyDeleteGhosts I can handle, other people's nudity not so much!
DeleteI Just don't understand why you Americans are so prudish and repressed. We all have bodies and most of us get old one day over it.
ReplyDeleteIf it was you who did the booking, you didn't do your homework properly. If it was Opie he probably did, and really wanted secretly to seek your approval to strip off, but your prudish attitude put the poor guy off. I bet he's an unhappy man now, and doesn't know how to talk to you about something he really wants to try.
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DeleteI guess that's fair because I just don't understand people who are mean-spirited enough to leave negative comments on someone else's blog and yet remain anonymous. Ah well, it takes all kinds
DeleteAgreed... they need to mention that type of thing on their website :)
ReplyDeleteAt least in the fine print!
ReplyDeleteHilarious! Visiting from the Challenge. Hope you'll visit back. www.widowsphere.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteThanks!
ReplyDelete