Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Vacation 2019 -- A Little Preview!


Well, summer has just officially faded into fall and I bet that means the same question just popped into everyone’s minds: How come I haven’t heard anything about Eric and Kimberly’s annual vacation?

Which means the next thought that popped into everyone’s minds is “Wait, I don’t remember reading about their vacation LAST summer…or the summer BEFORE THAT…FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, PLEASE DON’T TELL ME THAT THEY’VE GIVEN UP THIS FABULOUS TRADITION OR—WORSE YET—I’VE MISSED THOSE POSTS!!”

Which further means that you’re all braced to start frantically searching through this blog, desperately searching for the any sign of travel tales.

(It is interesting to note that I might have an overblown sense of my importance in your lives.)

In any case, fear not, Eric and I have not given up our annual sojourn into the silly side of life. I, apparently, just haven’t been writing about our trips. And I don’t have time to write about them all now but, rest assured, they’ve been as nutty as ever!  For example, 2 years ago we made a return trip to Roswell, New Mexico for the International UFO Festival. And while it was less dramatic than our first trip there 15 years ago (when we might or might not have trespassed on private government property), it was still chock full of crazy. We saw people who were literally wearing tinfoil hats or fairy wings or both.

 We once again spoke to The Alien Hunter (who told me my questions about alien abduction were, and I quote EXCELLENT). We met Travis Walton (famous alleged alien abduction victim). And, far best of all, we got to witness a rather heated diatribe by a woman who was furious that the Convention wasn’t giving more attention to the Reptoid Plot of World Domination.

Reptoids, for those of you who don’t vacation with UFO enthusiasts, are an ancient alien race of reptiles that are able to shapeshift into human forms and have infiltrated every powerful family in the WORLD. They are here to take over the Earth—and possibly the entire universe—because they enjoy feeding on and breeding with humans.

There’s a very complicated explanation involving the shadow government, the Rockefellers, the British Royal Family and any number of US celebrities but, according to the 2 books I bought dissecting this phenomenon, I am one of the many “sheeple” of the world, too blind to understand the danger.

Good times, my fellow sheeple, good times.

My point is, yes we still take our trip every year. And, although we didn’t go this summer, we’re going next weekend. Why so much later than usual?

For three main reasons:
1.     
  Uhhh, have you been reading the blog? Skin cancer and a new house, sheeple! I’ve been busy.

2.       Our original destination – a ghost hunt at the Missouri State Penitentiary in Jefferson City, MO – was hit by a tornado earlier in the year and the event was cancelled.

3.       There was a slight discrepancy between the vacation weekend on MY calendar and the one marked on Eric’s.

I maintain that when Eric visited this summer to help with the new house, we picked September 13th as the weekend and he just doesn’t remember.  Eric maintains that we talked about September 13th but landed on the 27th as a better option and I just don’t remember…Opie maintains that Eric and I drink too much when we’re making plans and he’s surprised anyone remembers anything.

I’m pretty sure that’s his way of saying he’s on Team Kimbo and just doesn’t want to hurt Eric’s feelings.

Luckily for Eric, I was able to rearrange my schedule because, although one can search for the mysterious ghost lights that travel down an abandoned highway known as The Devil’s Promenade pretty much any time one wants, it’s harder to book a night in the garage apartment where Bonnie and Clyde hid from the police than you might think.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg for our weekend plans but if history teaches us anything, I think we can expect a lot of laughs, a few ghosts, and way too much alcohol.

I just hope we don’t run into any reptoids because the abovementioned books were so confusing, I still have no idea how to fight them off.




If you want to hear about some of our earlier vacations, feel free to check out any of the links below:





The Time We Literally Set a Guiness World Record

Thursday, September 19, 2019

6 Month Milestone


It's been a long 6 months of  surgery, sock photos, more surgery, more sock photos, moving, more sock photos and even more sock photos.  But I think it's time for a photo montage and big reveal!



Before: 


During:




This is the day of the surgery -- and the plastic surgeon actually suggested that I wear the snot-catching nose guard thing 24/7 for the next 2 weeks. Newflash: I didn't.

The morning  after the surgery -- this, by the way, was the day the doctor warned me repeatedly not to have sex...though how he thought Opie could resist my animal magnetism, I'll never know.

A couple weeks in...when the flap was "feeling badly!" 
I, on the other hand, was a beaming ball of sunshine.



The next surgery, aka The Unflapping!
Then slowly on the mend....



Now, six months down the road (drumroll please!):


Lots of scar cream, not a small amount of make up, a new haircut and very forgiving lighting...but looking like me again!