Saturday, November 23, 2013

Princess Snowflake Sassypants In Her Acting Debut (AKA Kimberly Has Too Much Time on Her Hands)

Main Rules of the Universe According to Princess Snowflake Sassypants:
If there's a toy in the house, it's mine.

If there are two toys that are identical, they're both mine.

If Bubba is chewing toy--even if it's identical to the one I'm chewing--it's
mine and he should give it to me immediately.

If Bubba won't give me MY toy, I am well within my rights to take it away.

If I can't take it away, I am allowed to use any method necessary to retrieve MY property.
This includes but is not limited to physical force and deception.


Friday, November 22, 2013

It's Been That Kind of Day

So, I just came downstairs from putting away laundry and noticed that one of the animals has knocked over a plant. And, just to make sure that I didn't miss the overturned plant, they have considerately spread the dirt over as much of the living room carpet as animally possible.

How all this happened in less than 2 minutes is a mystery that I didn't have time to ponder because I was very busy screaming at all of them indiscriminately (they all tried to point the paw at each other but everyone had incriminating dirt in his/her fur...except the cat, who of course has no fur, but is so often the plant killing culprit that I don't feel a bit bad at including him in my tantrum) and getting out the vacuum to clean up the dirt.

The screaming didn't phase them.  However, the sound of the vacuum is anathema in this house--the second I turned it on, I had 3 terrorized animals racing around the living room like maniacs.


I'm not really sure if this means I have too many plants or that I vacuum far too rarely...but I also have an uncomfortable vision of getting caught in an endless cycle of vacuuming, plant desecration, and screaming for the rest of the afternoon.

And I'm pretty sure I need a drink.