Thursday, March 24, 2016

Horrifying Complete Strangers

The first thing to remember is that I work from home.

I work from home, I never see people (except Opie) and it's not like I have a freaking dress code.

The second thing to remember is that I'm trying to get in shape.

I'm trying to get in shape, we just bought a Fitdesk (combo exercise bike and work desk--more on that later!) and I try to ride it at least an hour and a half a day.

The final thing to remember is that I have tiny little Cinderella feet.

I have tiny little Cinderella feet so I have to buy tiny little Cinderella shoes however I don't have tiny little Cinderella calves so all boots need to be broken in in the calf area before they can be comfortably worn.

If you keep these 3 things firmly in mind, you will understand that I did not intentionally horrify the Jehovah's Witnesses who came evangelizing yesterday afternoon.

Here's what happened: I'm off for most of the weekend so had to work a crazy number of shifts yesterday. So I got up, threw on a pair of hot pink bike shorts (don't judge me, they're comfortable!) and a long t-shirt (because I'm not DELUSIONAL about the way I look in hot pink bike shorts), and put my hair--which the substitute stylist dyed a horrible jet black on Friday--in a messy bun. Then I jumped on the FitDesk, signed onto my work account and began pedaling away.

After an hour or so of that, I needed a break so I got off the bike and decided this would be the ideal time to start breaking in my new black boots. Thus, the following addition to my ensemble:
2 pairs of thick, knee high socks (white) and black leather mid-calf boots.

How Opie keeps his hands off me the moment he walks in from work is a mystery for the ages.

But I digress...

In any case, it was at just this moment that the evangelists came a knockin'!

And because I have, apparently, lost all sense of decorum, I went right ahead and threw the door open in all my black haired, bike shorted, booted glory.

In addition, because I have limited control over the 2 most ridiculous dogs in the universe, actually stepped out onto the porch to get  away from the barking.

That's right.  I stepped out on the porch in hot pink bike shorts, long t-shirt, knee high socks, boots, and Wanda Witch black hair in a messy bun.

May I mention that I also didn't have any make up on yet?

I think it's safe to say, the evangelists were horrified. They gave me a some watchtower pamphlet, mumbled something about coming to their weekly service but when I said "Thanks, but I'm cheerfully Catholic." They flew from the porch like they'd been shot from a gun.

Honestly, I've never gotten rid of evangelists so fast in my life...I suspect they were worried about what I might WEAR to services.

Wondering what today will bring....

Monday, March 21, 2016

Firsts This Spring

I can’t believe I haven’t posted yet about the fabulous new camera lens Opie got me for Christmas. 

It’s a lens for extreme close ups and portraits; in professional photography jargon it’s best described as “very zoom-y” and “wicked cool!”

I hope that’s not too technical for you lay people.

In any case, we’ve taken it on a few of our morning hikes/walks and the pics it takes are simply amazing…as evidenced by this picture I like to call Duck Berries:

(Duck Berries...hope that's not too abstract for you non-English teachers!)
But, best of all, I was able to capture some awesome shots of a few firsts of the spring.

Like the first toad of spring who was hiding in the garden:

And the first iris of spring that popped up a few weeks ago.

I did not, obviously, capture a picture of the first snake of spring that slithered sneakily out from under a rock a few days ago because it is very difficult to take good pictures while running away screaming.

Opie maintains that this is “over-reacting” and that “you’re going to see snakes outside” and that “it’s a tiny little snake, you should be able to deal with a tiny little snake.”

Which just goes to show you that, once again, Opie is very lucky my fear of snakes is only topped by my fear of prison.

Though, I will admit, it was a small snake.  And while I didn’t get my own pic, I found a representative pic on Google images:

Small but obviously an inherently vicious creature that would kill you as soon as look at you!

It is interesting to note that, when telling our friends Fred and Susan about our snake adventures, Susan mentioned that she had found a snake in their pantry a while ago (It is further interesting to note that I was sitting within FEET of the alleged pantry when this revelation was made.  The fact that I didn’t immediately dash from the home is a testament to my strength of character). In any case, snake in the pantry is the clearest argument for moving I have ever heard, even if this is their dream house that they designed and had built.

So, in summary, the new camera lens is awesome, snakes are evil, Susan is one of the bravest women alive and if we get a snake in this house we’re putting it on the market within the hour.