Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Something Might Be Out There

So, got home late last night after teaching my night class and this is the sign that was on the back door:

 
 
I, of course, took this with my usual stoic calm.
 
And by "stoic calm" I, of course, mean that I began running around trying to figure out what danger was lurking in our backyard...after all, this:
 
 
is not a tiny dog.  This is a dog who protects our home.  If SOMETHING MIGHT BE OUT THERE that threatens this dog, then clearly that danger must be dealt with immediately.
 
And by "dealt with" I, of course, mean that I would locate the danger then wake Opie up to face the peril.
 
Why didn't I just assume Opie had already investigated, determined there was no immediate danger, and left the sign as a precaution?
 
Because my brain doesn't work that way, that's why.
 
It made much more sense to creep out on the back porch with a flashlight and shine it all over the yard, looking for an intruder and jumping at the smallest sound.
 
To be fair, I'm pretty sure Opie completely regrets this decision as my next step was to go upstairs, get in bed, snuggle oh-so-close to my darling and hiss "SOMETHING MIGHT BE OUT THERE?!" in his ear.
 
"Yah," he agreed sleepily.  'Something."
 
"WHAT?!"  I demanded.  "A snake? Bigfoot? A MONSTER?!"
 
"No," he said. "Probably another armadillo. Or a skunk...I've seen a couple of those lately."
 
I'm not sure if that was supposed to be comforting but the thought of a herd of wild skunks rampaging through the yard doesn't make me feel better AT ALL. 
 
But I am a reasonable woman, I only yelled "SOMETHING MIGHT BE OUT THERE!" fifteen or twenty times before drifting off to sleep.
 
And let me end by saying that yes, Opie does consider himself the luckiest man alive...just think how BORING his life must have been before I came back into it.
 
 
 
 

 


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