Well, it’s that time again. The time when a random interaction with a stranger serves me up another cup of crazy. Here’s what happened.
I tried to make a quick Walmart run (why, why, WHY can’t I ever get out of there in under 30 minutes?!) and happened to notice this woman zipping around on one of those motorized carts, calling out to various people, yelling “Beep Beep!” as she turned corners, and having more fun than most people on motorized carts normally have.
I actually thought she might be a little slow and thought it was kind of cute that she was having such a good time in spite of what I assumed was an incapacitating physical condition.
Until I got in the checkout line and made one of the classic blunders: I made eye contact and said “Hi.”
At least that’s what I thought I said. What she clearly heard was “Although we are complete strangers to one another, I sure would love to hear disturbing details of your personal medical issues.”
“I had to have a hysterectomy!” She said cheerfully, patting the motorized cart. “That’s why I’m using this thing.”
“That’s too bad,” I said.
And she interpreted that remark as “Please, tell me more and, let me stress again, the more disturbing the details, the better!”
“You wouldn’t believe the periods I was having!” She said. “They were just out of control.”
And on and on and on with more descriptive adjectives than I can even bear to remember.
At which point I’m pretty sure my face was like this:
(Ok, that’s not actually me, it’s my friend Martha but she makes the best shocked faces ever)
In any case, THIS the woman correctly interpreted and it pissed her off.
“Just you wait!” She predicted ominously, rolling away in a huff. “Just you wait!”
And now I’m going to spend the rest of my night trying to figure out what it is about me that:
A. Inspired this random overshare
B. Convinced her that I have a hysterectomy in my future.