Ok, let's just get the
hard part out of the way right up front:
Opie was right.
And, yes, that's painful
to say. Not because Opie is never right--he's frequently right. He's a smart
guy and he makes good decisions (like marrying me!). However, when I have to
specifically acknowledge that he was right about something, that usually means
that I was wrong about something.
And I really, really
hate to be wrong...almost as much as I hate to admit I was wrong.
Here's what happened:
As you may know, I'm a liberal.
Opie is not a liberal. He says that he's basically a Libertarian but the
truth of the matter is that I’m pretty sure he's a government hating anarchist.
I base this on the fact that any time
a political discussion comes up, he spends a long time ranting about government
should keep out of peoples’ business and how politicians are thieves and
idiots and all out to screw somebody else.
This is bad enough when it comes to
health care, smoking bans, and seat belt laws—all of which are clear examples
of nefarious government forces exerting their vicious control over the populace—but don’t even get him started on the
Oklahoma Department of Transportation and the numerous toll roads across our
fair state.
Opie maintains of these toll roads
are a total scam designed to screw the common man out of his money
and line the pockets of politicians.
I, on the other hand, have always
been a fan of toll roads, maintaining that the people who use the roads are the
ones who pay for them and that's a great and fair thing.
And then I plug my ears as Opie
screams things like, “Thieves! The government is full of thieves! Those toll
roads were supposed to be paid for in few years but they're STILL CHARGING TOLLS. Why? To improve all the roads in Oklahoma and have they? NO!
All that’s happened is a bunch of rich people got richer and the roads stayed crappy because the government
is full of THIEVES!”
I’m not going to lie, it’s a little
frightening
But after last Thursday, I might be
a bit more on his side.
I was using a toll road as I was
driving to my night class in a small town north of Tulsa and as I pulled off I
hit a pothole that was roughly the size of the Grand Canyon.
I would like to point out two things
before continuing: One, my tires are almost brand-new; we got four new tires
for my car less than a year ago.
Two, I was not going excessively
fast because I never go excessively fast. I hate to drive and thus I tend to drive
like a 90-year-old woman on Valium. I firmly maintain that 70 mph is the speed
limit, the limit you understand, you certainly don't have to drive that fast.
And yet, that pothole flattened not
ONE but TWO of my tires.
And of course I only had one spare
Which, to be fair, didn't really
matter that much as I am almost as likely to disarm a nuclear weapon as I am to
change my own tire.
Needless to say, I called Opie and dropped
the problem hysterically yet squarely in his lap.
We called AAA, they came to tow the car; however, because
it's a small town in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma and it was after six, the local tire
shop had already closed for the night.
So, we had it towed there but we had to leave it overnight and Opie had
to drive out to get me.
When we went back to retrieve it the
next day we realized that not only did I have two flat tires but one rim was
damaged beyond repair and we had to order a new one in from California. Therefore,
the shop could only put one new tire on it and we had to use the spare while
waiting for the rim to come in.
The screaming and cursing that
accompanied this revelation is far too horrifying to relate.
Now, you may be telling yourselves
this is was really some bad luck but not proof that Opie is right about the
pernicious devils in Oklahoma Department of Transportation.
But the thing is, I'm not done with
my story.
We still had to get the car home.
Which means that one of us had to drive 50 miles on the tiny and wobbly donut
spare tire.
And I'm a strong powerful woman of
the modern age (even if I can’t change my own tire) so I offered to do it.
“Give me the keys,” Opie said
firmly.
So, once again, I was denied
my God-given rights by a male-dominated misogynist society! I feel so oppressed.
In any case, Opie drove home on the
horrible donut wheel, traveling on the highway at about 45 miles per hour,
getting honked and screamed at and being the recipient of many obscene
gestures.
And then when he was about 5 miles
from home, he also hit a pothole on the Oklahoma toll road and got ANOTHER flat
tire and damaged ANOTHER rim beyond repair.
So the long and short of it is that
I am now convinced Opie was right. Because there is no way the Oklahoma
Department of Transportation is spending all that toll road money on road maintenance. The roads are obviously not fit for human transportation.
While I probably (hopefully) won’t
start screaming about miscreants and thieves, if I hit another pothole I don’t
know if I’ll be able to maintain my somewhat tenuous grip on sanity.
I found your blog on the A-Z challenge link up. Loving your blog so far. My best friend lives in the Tulsa area, and I have to drive all the way across Oklahoma from where I live now to visit my hometown, so I am plenty familiar with the toll roads. Thankfully not as familiar as you! Three flat tires!! I'm subscribing to your feed and look forward to reading more of your posts!
ReplyDeleteSubmit the bill to ODOT. If they refuse to pay, report your story to the local media.
ReplyDelete