Thursday, September 12, 2013

Happy Fall Y'all

This week’s Theme Thursday topic is Fall.  And to me, Fall means one thing: back to school.

Since moving to Oklahoma, I’ve worked a lot (too many!) different jobs. But the one thing that has always been consistent is teaching; even when I was working other jobs, I stayed involved in teaching. This year I’m teaching at two different colleges and I love it.

And when you’re a teacher, fall is always awesome.  Everything’s new—new classes, new plans, new students— it’s exciting.

The things that would send me right over the edge in the middle of the year can make me laugh in the fall.

Like a student I like to call Purple Hair No Pen.

Please understand that I have no problem with the fact that this girl’s hair is Easter Egg purple.  My own hair has definite purple overtones after the unfortunate My-Hairdresser-Doesn’t-Know-What-Color-Red-Is incident. But, a week and a half after she first dyed it, her neck, shoulders, and hands are also still bright purple.

Which makes me question her basic intelligence and, honestly, her overall cleanliness.  I mean, unless she was actually trying to turn herself into a muppet, she clearly used no protective gear AT ALL while dying her hair. And wouldn’t regular showering tone it down a little after a week and a half?

Still, my problem with her is not her hair color.  It’s the fact that she keeps coming to a writing class without anything to write with.

Our first conversation about it went a little like this:


Girl "Can I use your pen? I don’t have one.”

 Me: "This is a WRITING class."

 Girl "Well, I wasn't here last time--I didn't know we'd need one."

 Me (to no one in particular): “This conversation is going terribly.”

 Girl "Soooo, can I have a pen?"

 Me: "I only brought the one I'm using.  You need to come prepared."


This, by the way, was a lie.  But this is a COLLEGE class, I don't hand out supplies willy-nilly.


It was supposed to be a lesson for her…but I can’t ascertain if it actually taught her anything because the next two class periods she still didn’t have anything to write with.  And then she took our last quiz with a brown calligraphy scrapbooking marker.

I guess I should be glad she actually had a writing utensil but she kind of ruined her little victory by handing me the quiz and asking “Wait—do I need to put my name on it?”

How this girl got IN college is a mystery for the ages.

If this were the middle of the year, I would need all my self-restraint not to punch this girl in the face.  But it’s Fall, so I laugh.

I thought all teachers felt the same way but that theory was tested yesterday when I found out that I, apparently, have mutant strength.

Here’s what happened: After my first class, as I was tidying up so the DEPARTMENT CHAIR could teach in that room, I reached over to raise the projector screen and I ripped it right off the wall.

And by ripped off the wall, I don't mean the screen ripped.  I mean that the brackets holding the screen in the wall came off, a huge chunk of plaster came down, and the whole thing essentially fell on the ground.

There is now no screen in the room and there is an ENORMOUS hole in the wall.

I, of course, started cracking up. “Wow,” I said. “I’m like a SUPER HERO. Who knew?”

“Wow,” the department chair said.  “I needed that screen for my class.”

Which pretty much put the kibosh on taking a picture of it for my blog because she wasn’t laughing AT ALL.

And I can’t even report how her class went because I was like “Oh, that’s unfortunate…so sorry.”  Then ran for it.

Not because I was still laughing (though I was) but because I had another class and it’s fall and I’m a dedicated teacher who refuses to let my students down by being even the slightest bit late.

I’m not going to lie, the fear that she might suggest we switch classrooms for the hour so she could have a room with a projector screen might have played in a tiny bit.

In the middle of the year, I’d be freaking out, thinking “Hope this doesn’t affect my class load next semester…but not now…so Happy Fall, y’all!


For other Theme Thursday posts, click the link below


For other Theme Thursday posts, click the link below


  1. As someone who has stained their arms and face on more than one occasion, I know that it DOES wash off in a day or two, provided you actually wash.

    1. I've gotten brown dye all over my neck before and NO WAY was it still there almost two weeks later!

  2. One who does not laugh at a quip about being a super hero clearly has no sense of humor.

  3. Oh I love a good "stupid person" anecdote. I mean, I wish there weren't so MANY anecdotes about stupid people, but they still make me laugh. :-)

    and seriously? NO laugh about the super hero comment? it's not like it was your FAULT the screen came out of the wall - go yell at someone in maintenance about that.

    1. I know! I mean, I couldn't look less like a super hero; clearly something else was going on with the screen.

  4. This was a hysterical story. I know what you mean about a new school year giving you patience and joy. Can't believe the super hero remark didn't get a chuckle.

    Idea, could the girl be homeless? Or going through some terrible financial problem. I mean I've gotten dye on my ears many times and it doesn't last. I can't think of any young woman who wouldn't shower if a shower is available. Also, the only time I didn't have something as basic as pen and paper, is when I've been running so late between work and school that I forgot something as important as my binder with my only supply of writing supplies in the pencil box...

  5. I thought it might be a poverty issue at first, but she has a cell phone that works (because she was trying to text in class today) and brand new textbooks that aren't cheap...I think she might spend a little too much time partying.

    1. ah, I didn't think of that. I go straight to tragic. Although partying to hard is kind of tragic. Wasting your youth sucks, except you don't realize that till your old, possibly at rock bottom. See, how I go straight to tragic?