Saturday, August 17, 2013

Lions and Tigers and ... Dogs?

Does anyone else remember the news story a few months ago about the tourists in Argentina who thought they were buying a poodle but when they got it home and took it to the vet realized that they had actually bought a ferret on steroids?

I would post the pics here but that would be a violation of those pesky copyright laws, so check them out here.

(It is interesting to note that, although this is horrible, there is a tiny little part of me that wants a poodle ferret).

Anyway, I was pretty sure that this was pretty much the limit in animal impersonation frauds.

But no!

Because yesterday I read about a Chinese zoo that tried to pass off a DOG as a LION.

To be fair, it was a huge Tibetan mastiff and not a Chihuahua, but still…it’s a DOG.  A fact the zoo patrons became aware of when some little kid was like “That lion is BARKING.”

Now the zoo officials are all “Oh, we didn’t mean to try to fool anyone.  We were just keeping the dog in the lion den for security reasons.”

Which is a little hard to believe because first of all, how does putting a dog in a lion pen help anyone feel secure?  Second, check out how that dog was all gussied up. Pretty sure that wasn't an accident.

However, this has led me to come up with an amazing fundraising idea.  I think I’m going to start a backyard zoo.  I won’t even have to get new animals; we already have enough.

The first think I’m going to do is dye Bubba’s eyebrows, muzzle and paws black and start calling him a panther.  And, unlike the Chinese zoo officials, I’m going to be prepared.  “He’s not barking,” I’ll say if anyone asks.  “He’s coughing. He’s very sick…and it’s probably contagious.  Don’t get too close.”


Then I’ll hurry them over to our next exhibit—the baby leopard.


Again, preparation will be important.  I mean, I can see it now…”That’s not a leopard,” some little kid will say.  “That’s a bald cat in a leopard coat.”

And I’ll say “Leopards ARE cats.”  And then the kid will feel stupid for speaking up and hopefully won’t say a word when I take them over to the polar bear habitat.  “We just have one,” I’ll say.  “And it’s just a baby, that's why it's so small.”

Seriously, I smell a million dollar opportunity!



1 comment:

  1. I had actually not heard this story about the ferret on steroids - I checked out the picture and can't help but think "how ridiculous!" And then laugh uncontrollably.

    I totally think you can pull off your own zoo. :)