This is Peek's "You Want Me To Do WHAT?"face
Well, I thought I should let everyone know that Opie and I finally crossed that ever important first hurdle this weekend—the meeting of the pets.
Yes, you read that right.
Not parents. Not friends. Pets.
Because, let’s be honest, if his 50 pound Rottweiler mix can’t get along with my two bundles of crazy, there’s probably no sense pursuing this relationship any further....ok, kidding, but it would make things more difficult--because I think we all know I'm not getting rid of MY babies.
The problem with the meeting was, of course, the simple fact about that my pets are clearly confused about their place in the universe.
Peek-A-Boo, for example, is completely unaware of the fact that he’s a dog. He’s pretty sure that he’s just a fat little man trapped in a fur suit.
And while he’s certainly open to having a dog of his own, he clearly thought it was important to establish the following guidelines:
1. No dogs on the furniture. Which meant that although Peek had his fat little body splayed out on the couch with reckless abandon, the instant Bub so much as put a single toenail on the edge of a cushion, Peek sprang to vicious life—barking and growling and charging until he scared Bub off.
2. No feeding people food to dogs—no matter what. Which meant that if someone inadvertently dropped a crumb on the floor—heck if someone looked like they were thinking about dropping something that might be food on the floor, Peek charged across the room, knocked Bubba out of the way, and heroically gobbled it up himself—all in the interest of keeping the dogs of the house human food free.
I like to think it was this same heroic spirit that made him jump in front of Bubba and bury his face in Bubba’s food dish. It’s not that he’s a food aggressive little pig of a dog, he was diligently making sure that there was nothing in Bubba’s bowl that could be misconstrued as people food.
3. No playing dominance games with the dogs. According the Dog Whisperer, a person (even one trapped in a fur suit), should never play dominance games like tug-of-war with his dog. Apparently, this can teach your dog that it’s ok to challenge your authority. And while Peek has obviously been watching the Dog Whisperer behind my back, Bubba just has obviously has not. Because that poor dog was desperate to prove his dominance in a tug of war battle with pretty much any toy in the house.
Which honestly, is either really mean or really dumb of Bub because he weighs SEVEN TIMES what Peek weighs. Plus Peek is old and doesn’t have a lot of teeth…a tug of war battle would have ended with him being launched across the room like a rocket dog.
A fact not lost on Peek AT ALL. Bubba would come over, tail wagging, toy rope or duck or what have you in his mouth, nudge Peek with it a few times and Peek would just sit there staring at him like he was out of his tiny doggy mind. “I don’t play dominance games with MY DOG,” he would say.
He would, occasionally, bark hysterically at Bubba and chase him across the room until he dropped the toy in question—so he could steal the toy and pretend like it had been his all along--and then hide with it behind the couch where Bubba couldn't reach him. But he would NOT play tug of war.
The Dog Whisperer said not to.
I'm not going to lie, it was a little embarrassing.
And the cat, of course, made it even worse.He, too, seems unaware of his true species. He clearly thinks he’s a dog…but a dog of questionable moral character.
See, the cat, unfortunately, is a liar.The thing is, when 2 dogs meet for the first time, there is a little struggle to see which one is dominant. The submissive one frequently drops onto his back and shows his belly, demonstrating his submissive nature. So, upon meeting Bubba, the cat took a few cheerful swipes at his head, then dropped to the floor and showed his belly.
But, as I mentioned, the cat is a liar.He was not showing his belly as an act of submission but to lull Bubba into a false sense of security. Because the second that Bubba would scamper over, thinking he was in charge, and put his nose down on Prince’s belly, Prince would smack Bubba in the face.
Which would have been bad enough if Prince had done it once…but he did it about 16 times. And Bubba fell for it EVERY SINGLE TIME.Seriously, I think Opie’s just happy that I didn’t bring children to this relationship!
Can't you just tell this cat is plotting SOMETHING?