Lock Down and Looney Animals

In case any of you are wondering how things are going over here at the Yates Estates during all this lock down, I've put together a little Q&A that should give you some insight into the wild world of Kimberly.

And, no, don't worry, you don't have to come up with any questions or answers. I am putting together the things that you SHOULD be asking to get a clearer picture of the scene on the ground, as it were.

1. Did the sprinkler system go completely wackadoo, turning the backyard into a squishy swamp and necessitating prayer that sprinkler repair was an essential business?

    Yes...and, luckily, they are an essential business because they got over here pretty darn quickly, we shouted at each other from an appropriate social distance and they went right to work.

2.    Did the dogs assume the Sprinkler guys were virus-carrying miscreants or otherwise deadly criminals who were intent on killing everyone in the vicinity and were thus forced to run around the house barking a loud warning for the ENTIRE TIME THE GUYS WERE HERE?

    Yes.

3.  Are these same dogs fazed by threats of violence and/or loudly shouted profanity?

    No, definitely not.

4. Did the Sprinkler guys hear the screamed profanity and assume the woman inside the house was having a nervous breakdown?

    Unclear - they certainly didn't burst in to see if the woman was all right....though, to be fair, might be because they are from a Christian company known as the Living Water and it's possible they heard and were just too horrified to react.

5. Did the cat take advantage of all this mayhem to see if he could actually leap from the top of the cat tree onto the lamp above the kitchen table and subsequently hang there like a naked spider monkey?

    Not at first...but he made it on what I assume was his second try.

6. Is the cat similarly unfazed by threats and profanity?

    Based on the fact that he not only strutted around the house proudly but also proceeded to jump on the table and leap at the lamp from a variety of different angles, I think I can say with certainty Yes, 1,000 times YES.

7. Am I now considering Day Drinking as a valid life style choice?

  Also, 1,000 times YES.

Don't let the innocent face fool
you -  she's 9 pounds of fur-
covered steel!

8. Did the bunny who lives under our deck decide to scamper across the deck in an enticing fashion seconds before I finally was able to let the dogs out back and then run under the steps leading to a short hysterical chase in which 2 dogs crashed into each other and rolled off the deck in a flailing tangle of hysterical barking, snarling, and flailing paws?

    Yes.

9. Can either dog fit underneath the deck to attack said bunny?

    Bubba - no, though he gave it the old college try. Sassy - probably could but was unceremoniously dragged away by her harness as she was wriggling her way underneath then was carried into the house in disgrace.

10.  Did either dog exhibit remorse for their crazed bunny-chasing behavior or did they subsequently see the mail person approaching the house with a package and decide that she, too, had nefarious motives and needed to be scared away and therefore positioned themselves at the front windows, barking the bark of hounds that have killed a mail woman for less?

    The latter.

11. Did the cat take advantage of this new mayhem to see if he could use the blinds as a ladder only to tumble down to the floor where he pretended that this was all part of some kitty calisthenics routine and totally on purpose?

 Yes, but never fear, he wasn't hurt...as evidenced by the fact that when I ran over to see if he was hurt, he dashed past me, jumped up on counter and stuck his face in my coffee. Getting caffeinated, I assume, for his afternoon workout.

12.  Did I fortify myself with a glass of wine after all this drama?

      Sadly, no, but only because I had to work.

So, in summary, our dogs are as crazy as ever, our cat either has a future as a daredevil or has a death wish and I'm beginning to worry that we don't have enough wine to make it through lock down. And we might need a new kitchen lamp soon as I'm pretty sure it wasn't designed to hold the weight of a leaping cat.