Well, summer has just officially faded into fall and I bet
that means the same question just popped into everyone’s minds: How come I
haven’t heard anything about Eric and Kimberly’s annual vacation?
Which means the next thought that popped into everyone’s
minds is “Wait, I don’t remember reading about their vacation LAST summer…or
the summer BEFORE THAT…FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, PLEASE DON’T TELL ME
THAT THEY’VE GIVEN UP THIS FABULOUS TRADITION OR—WORSE YET—I’VE MISSED THOSE
POSTS!!”
Which further means that you’re all braced to start frantically
searching through this blog, desperately searching for the any sign of travel
tales.
(It is interesting to note that I might have an overblown
sense of my importance in your lives.)
In any case, fear not, Eric and I have not given up our
annual sojourn into the silly side of life. I, apparently, just haven’t been
writing about our trips. And I don’t have time to write about them all now but,
rest assured, they’ve been as nutty as ever!
For example, 2 years ago we made a return trip to Roswell, New Mexico
for the International UFO Festival. And while it was less dramatic than our
first trip there 15 years ago (when we might or might not have trespassed on
private government property), it was still chock full of crazy. We saw people
who were literally wearing tinfoil hats or fairy wings or both.We once again spoke to The Alien Hunter (who told me my questions about alien abduction were, and I quote EXCELLENT). We met Travis Walton (famous alleged alien abduction victim). And, far best of all, we got to witness a rather heated diatribe by a woman who was furious that the Convention wasn’t giving more attention to the Reptoid Plot of World Domination.
Reptoids, for those of you who don’t vacation with UFO
enthusiasts, are an ancient alien race of reptiles that are able to shapeshift
into human forms and have infiltrated every powerful family in the WORLD. They are
here to take over the Earth—and possibly the entire universe—because they enjoy
feeding on and breeding with humans.
There’s a very complicated explanation involving the shadow
government, the Rockefellers, the British Royal Family and any number of US
celebrities but, according to the 2 books I bought dissecting this phenomenon, I
am one of the many “sheeple” of the world, too blind to understand the danger.
Good times, my fellow sheeple, good times.
My point is, yes we still take our trip every year. And,
although we didn’t go this summer, we’re going next weekend. Why so much later
than usual?
For three main reasons:
1.
Uhhh, have you been reading the blog? Skin
cancer and a new house, sheeple! I’ve been busy.
2.
Our original destination – a ghost hunt at the
Missouri State Penitentiary in Jefferson City, MO – was hit by a tornado earlier
in the year and the event was cancelled.
3.
There was a slight discrepancy between the vacation
weekend on MY calendar and the one marked on Eric’s.
I maintain that when Eric visited this summer to help with
the new house, we picked September 13th as the weekend and he just
doesn’t remember. Eric maintains that we
talked about September 13th but landed on the 27th as a
better option and I just don’t remember…Opie maintains that Eric and I drink
too much when we’re making plans and he’s surprised anyone remembers anything.
I’m pretty sure that’s his way of saying he’s on Team Kimbo and
just doesn’t want to hurt Eric’s feelings.
Luckily for Eric, I was able to rearrange my schedule because,
although one can search for the mysterious ghost lights that travel down an
abandoned highway known as The Devil’s Promenade pretty much any time one
wants, it’s harder to book a night in the garage apartment where Bonnie and Clyde
hid from the police than you might think.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg for our weekend plans but
if history teaches us anything, I think we can expect a lot of laughs, a few
ghosts, and way too much alcohol.
I just hope we don’t run into any reptoids because the abovementioned
books were so confusing, I still have no idea how to fight them off.
If you want to hear about some of our earlier vacations, feel free to check out any of the links below:
The Time We Literally Set a Guiness World Record
