Thursday, March 24, 2016

Horrifying Complete Strangers

The first thing to remember is that I work from home.

I work from home, I never see people (except Opie) and it's not like I have a freaking dress code.

The second thing to remember is that I'm trying to get in shape.

I'm trying to get in shape, we just bought a Fitdesk (combo exercise bike and work desk--more on that later!) and I try to ride it at least an hour and a half a day.

The final thing to remember is that I have tiny little Cinderella feet.

I have tiny little Cinderella feet so I have to buy tiny little Cinderella shoes however I don't have tiny little Cinderella calves so all boots need to be broken in in the calf area before they can be comfortably worn.

If you keep these 3 things firmly in mind, you will understand that I did not intentionally horrify the Jehovah's Witnesses who came evangelizing yesterday afternoon.

Here's what happened: I'm off for most of the weekend so had to work a crazy number of shifts yesterday. So I got up, threw on a pair of hot pink bike shorts (don't judge me, they're comfortable!) and a long t-shirt (because I'm not DELUSIONAL about the way I look in hot pink bike shorts), and put my hair--which the substitute stylist dyed a horrible jet black on Friday--in a messy bun. Then I jumped on the FitDesk, signed onto my work account and began pedaling away.

After an hour or so of that, I needed a break so I got off the bike and decided this would be the ideal time to start breaking in my new black boots. Thus, the following addition to my ensemble:
2 pairs of thick, knee high socks (white) and black leather mid-calf boots.

How Opie keeps his hands off me the moment he walks in from work is a mystery for the ages.

But I digress...

In any case, it was at just this moment that the evangelists came a knockin'!

And because I have, apparently, lost all sense of decorum, I went right ahead and threw the door open in all my black haired, bike shorted, booted glory.

In addition, because I have limited control over the 2 most ridiculous dogs in the universe, actually stepped out onto the porch to get  away from the barking.

That's right.  I stepped out on the porch in hot pink bike shorts, long t-shirt, knee high socks, boots, and Wanda Witch black hair in a messy bun.

May I mention that I also didn't have any make up on yet?

I think it's safe to say, the evangelists were horrified. They gave me a some watchtower pamphlet, mumbled something about coming to their weekly service but when I said "Thanks, but I'm cheerfully Catholic." They flew from the porch like they'd been shot from a gun.

Honestly, I've never gotten rid of evangelists so fast in my life...I suspect they were worried about what I might WEAR to services.

Wondering what today will bring....


  1. Can't stop laughing!!!!
    Kathy (go by anonymous normally, never thought to do this)

    1. Thanks Kathy -- I'm sure you can visualize after some of the outfits you've seen me travel in!

  2. Absolutely brilliant - now where did I put those day-glow yellow shorts of mine? The only time I managed to spook the religious door knockers was just after the birth of my son so I didn't look too great either (lack of sleep, over-sized T-shirt and trackie bottoms) and when they asked if I was happy with the world I grinned from ear to ear and proclaimed that I was delighted with everything at which point they made a quick exit from my porch too - obviously not what they were expecting :) Special Teaching at Pempi’s Palace