It’s been quite a long time since I’ve posted a “Life In Oklahoma” blog—heck, it’s been awhile since I’ve posted any blog at all—largely because I am currently working not one, not two, but three different jobs.
That’s right, after months of not working at all and then scurrying from one
crazy gig to another, I find myself definitively over-employed.
Here’s what happened…the local university offered me another writing class.
Since it only meets once a week (albeit for three hours), I agreed.
Then I got a callback on a job application that I turned in months and months
ago…for a part time online monitoring job in which I spend hours at a time
admiring and then deleting penis drawings and other questionable content from a
website geared toward children (you can read all about that here or here). It seemed interesting and I got to
work from home so I went for it.
Shortly after signing a 6 month contract with the penis patrol, I got a call
from the publishing company that I have subbed at several times over the last
year. They had a position open and they could be flexible with the hours but
they needed me to start immediately—while I was still under contract for jobs 1
“You have to take that job,” Opie said. “First of all, you like it there.
Second, you need to actually interact with GROWN UP PEOPLE once in awhile.”
Apparently, he finds it disconcerting when I spend dinner explaining to him
all the things the animals and I have talked about during the day. “You know
they can’t actually talk, right? RIGHT, KIMBERLY?” he has asked more than
And if you think those kind of stories bother him, you should see his
reaction when he walks in after a long day of work and I yell things like “You
would not believe how many penises I’ve seen today! It’s like
So, I signed on with the publishing company and now I’m working 3 jobs.
Which is kind of exhausting…but on the bright side, screaming “I have three
jobs!” wins a surprising number of arguments before they even start. Like Opie
will be all, “Ewww…did you know that the milk expired two weeks ago and has
actually become a SOLID?” and I’ll start waving my hands in the air, yelling
“Milk? How can I possibly think about milk right now? I have THREE JOBS! How
many jobs do you have?!”
And, miraculously, the milk carton just disappears from the house, never to
be seen again.
It’s great fun, make no mistake.
As far as the jobs themselves, they’re great too. Teaching college is still
not as different from teaching high school as one would expect…as evidenced by
the fact that I still have a surprising number of students who don’t realize
that COMING to class and DOING THE WORK are necessary components of passing the
Like this one girl who sent me an email back in February after missing 3
weeks in a row. I have copied it verbatim below:
“Sorry I was not at class the last few weeks I was not feeling well. I know
you don’t want us us to miss any more than one class so what I am really trying
to ask is do you want me coming tonight even though I am still feeling sick? You
probably don't want me to come. Question what did we do the last weeks and
tonight since you probably don't want me to come?”
But she was wrong. I did want her to come, if only because I find it
challenging to re-teach 12 hours of class in a single email.
However, that was 4 weeks ago and I haven’t seen her since…until last night.
Just in time to get her midterm report.
“This can’t be right,” she said. “This says that I have an EIGHT
I assumed that she was expecting it to be lower but, no, she was under the
impression that after coming to 2 out of 9 classes, turning in 3 ten-point
assignments and taking—yet failing—1 quiz that she would at least be
At this point I inquired if she happened to be enrolled in a math class this
semester and, if so, how that was going for her?
It is interesting to note that this particular student doesn’t think I am
funny AT ALL…Especially when she started asking how many points she needed to
get in the next few weeks to pass the class.
“Well,” I said “we have about 1000 total points each semester. We have about
500 left…you have 42 points total…”
I trailed off, thinking she might realize that her Comp ship has already
sailed for the semester but she obviously just thought I was too stupid at math
to figure it out myself. So she got out a piece of paper and began doing a
little computing…”So,” she said thoughtfully. “I need to get 558 points to get
a D but 658 points to get a C!”
“We only have about 500 points left,” I reminded her.
“It’s going to be tough,” she agreed. But walked out in a much better mood,
presumably coming up with some elaborate MacGyver-like plan to get at least 115%
on every assignment we do for the rest of the semester.
Or maybe her plan is based on those strange “imaginary numbers” that I’ve
heard about but never really understood.
Either way, I feel a nearly overwhelming urge to look up her Algebra teacher
and find out if I’ve missed some groundbreaking new twist in simple
I have a feeling I’ll be seeing her again…
In any case, that’s part one of the latest Life In Oklahoma…but stay tuned, I
have a pupdate on Peek, stories of mole murder, and a contest on who is the
worst patient coming soon!
kimbo325 is a writer and a teacher (as well as an internet moderator and
publishing company worker) laughing her way through life. She’s not too great
at math herself but even she knows when to throw in the towel on a failing
grade. To read more about her crazy life, tweet with her on Twitter, follow her
on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ItIsInterestingToNote?ref=hl#!/or
leave a comment below.