Friday, February 1, 2013

Rock of Love Killed This Reality Star

Well, it’s Friday and that means it’s time for one of my favorite blog hop/link ups  from the ladies atJanine's Confessions of a Mommyaholic and “Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine with My Morning Quiet Time?” ,  Finish The Sentence Friday. They give the sentence and you can finish it however you want. Today's sentence is : "When it comes to reality TV, I…”

And, that’s easy.

When it comes to Reality TV, I am obsessed…I’ve actually written a whole other post on it called Reality For Me.  And,I know that I should be embarrassed by this because I am, after all, an English teacher…

However, I used to actually use that horrible Flavor of Love show as a motivational tool.  I was running a program for what we called “at-risk” kids from inner city St.Louis and I made a deal with them that if we got through the entire English lesson with minimal disruption, we would spend the last five minutes of class analyzing the latest episode and predicting who would go home.

Which was a little challenging to explain to my strait-laced evaluator—particularly considering the chart I had written on the back board with names like Hottie, Toastee, Buck Wild etc.

But you know what?

It worked.

And Flavor of Love was nowhere near as bad as Rock of Love…which I’m horrified to admit I also watched.  In my defense, I had a HUGE celebrity crush on Bret Michaels in high school and if I had know they were casting for a show in which I might actually get a chance to kiss him, I would have hitchhiked through Deliverance country to try out.

Wait, that’s not a defense AT ALL…that’s equally awful, if not worse.

The only good thing about the show is that it definitely cured me of any desire to be ON Reality TV because I am a crazy competitive person.  And  I think I can say with 100% certainty that there is no way I ever would have won.  I just couldn’t have come up with the following conversational gems that I remember even all these years later:

I’m everything I think a guy would want…I’m a little bit not too smart

Choking someone is…well, that’s bad.

Some people are born smart, some have to use their looks to get what they want…I’ve kind of gone that route…

I don’t know if Bret has ever been touched by the goddess but it’s time.

I also remember that there was some chick with freakishly large breasts who explained that she got her boobs done after she went to jail for putting graffiti on buildings…she figured she would be too scared to climb up and possibly fall if she had huge boobs. Please note that PRISON didn’t scare her but she thought a boob job might. After sharing this little nugget of wisdom, she sang a rap to Bret…that she had written out on the back of a genital herpes pamphlet.

I have a feeling that, if I had been on this show, I would have irritated that girl NO END.  And eventually she would have pulled out a shiv and shanked me in the fresh (I’m not going to lie, I’ve been watching a little too much Lock-Up lately).

Anyway, I no longer have any plans to be on Reality TV and I’m kind of over the VH1 dating shows.  I don't know if I'm getting older and more sensitive or if the shows are getting meaner but too many of them seem to look for emotionally damaged people to put on the air.  However, I still like Top Chef, Restaurant Impossible, Survivor, Chopped--pretty much any food challenge show...and if that means I have to turn in my English Teacher card, I guess I’ll just have to live with it.


For other reflections on Reality TV, check the link below:
Finish the Sentence Friday


  1. I think that's an awesome teaching tool! Those lines made me laugh hysterically. That's one show I never did watch.

    One of my favourite lines ever was on the Hills when Heidi Montag gave grace by thanking God for her husband (should have thanked the devil instead), her house, the meal, and the pretty negligee she had on. Or when Whitney Port told someone, "It's OK if you hit her. It would be self-defense: emotional self-defense."

    1. Ugh, I'd forgotten about Heidi and Spencer until just the other day when I read they're on some Big Brotherish show in England and, big shocker, Spencer is driving everyone crazy!

  2. This was awesome and as a fellow teacher (certified math), I loved how you used this to teach your kids a lesson. Any time we can bring some from the real world in it usually is a hit with the kids. Great job teach and thanks again for linking up with us!! :)

    1. Thanks Janine--and thanks for hosting this! Great fun, as usual!

  3. Oh my gosh- I had NO idea how many nuggets I missed. Love how somebody thought that although prison didn't scare her, that a boob job might. Ha! Funny stuff.