First Sentence Friday again and this
week’s sentence is: One of the most embarrassing things I ever did was:
And that is a LONG list to choose
from…but the first one that jumped to mind was this:
One of the most embarrassing things
I ever did was…set the high school on fire. Well, not completely. But sort of…and
it wasn’t ALL my fault.
Here’s what you need to know:
1. High school librarians, while
very smart, are not omniscient. If you, for example, say to them "Hey, do
you think I can put this cup in the microwave?" and they reply "Sure,
why not?" This is not a guarantee of the cup's safe experience in the
microwave.
2. If you put a cup in the microwave
that is NOT microwave safe (unbeknownst to you and the librarians), set the
microwave for 2 minutes and walk away to go get a packet of tea, that cup can
quite easily catch on fire.
3. If you see the cup on fire, yell
the f word and then open the microwave, that does NOT make the fire go out.
4. If you set a fire in the
microwave at a SCHOOL, which apparently has the most sensitive smoke detectors
ON THE PLANET, the fire alarm will go off throughout the whole building.
5. If you call the building secretary and assure her that the fire in the microwave is out and not a
concern AFTER THE ALARM HAS ALREADY
GONE OFF, that does NOT mean everyone can stay in the building. The fire
department, you see, has already been notified and is on the way to the
building with full lights and sirens to rescue all the children from the
flames. Everyone must still exit.
6. If there is an emergency
evacuation of the building during LUNCH, the administrators of the building
find this slightly troublesome to deal with...this is definitely NOT the time
to joke around and say things like "We always said we should see if we're
really prepared for an emergency...heh, heh, heh...you're welcome...heh, heh,
heh."
7. When you return to the building, after having caused this disaster AND ruined the microwave and your favorite mug in one fell swoop, it is difficult, MAKE THAT BORDERLINE IMPOSSIBLE, to find someone to make you a cup of tea...even if your poor little nerves are so frayed you really need one.
For other more embarrassing stories,
hopefully much worse than mine, click the link below:
Oh my gosh! Awesome!!! That is SOOO embarrassing! Like, could you have impacted any MORE people-embarrassing! Great post! Thanks for linking up again! Loved it!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I heard about it for weeks afterward from teachers and students...
DeleteWhat the hell was that cup made out of??
ReplyDeleteIt was one of those super-insulated ones that's supposed to keep your drink warm even in the Arctic...apparently there was a metal strip inside the bottom, who knew? :-)
DeleteOh Kim, thank you so much for sharing this and linking up. I set our toaster oven on fire in our house one time and another time our skillet, too. But that is another story for another time, but just know you aren't alone, lol!! Hope to see you back next week, too :)
ReplyDeleteThanks! I've set a skillet on fire too...and a couple of towels...and our Christmas centerpiece...hmmm, there seems to be a theme here.
DeleteLove the way that you wrote this post. So cute and original. And no librarians don't know everything and neither do teachers. I'm a teacher and kids ask me the craziest stuff and then act shocked when I don't know! Just found your blog and I'm excited to get to know you better. Hope you don't mind if I follow along...
ReplyDeletenewest follower :)
bonnie
thelifeofbon.com
Hey Bonnie! Just saw your page and love the book club idea! I taught high school English for about 15 years before moving to Oklahoma...can't wait to read more.
Deletehehehehe! A lady in our office burned her popcorn and caused a 12 story office building to be evacuated in the middle of the coldest winter month in Anchorage, Alaska. We stood outside in just our office clothes in -5 degree weather for 30 minutes while the firefighters checked the building. She founds microwaved bags of popcorn on her desk almost every day for a week from all of her loyal office mates. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat story! :)
Anchorage? Good Lord, that would be worse!
DeleteOh that is terrible. Oh the whole evacuation thing! Did the firemen still go in to check things out. Did you have to tell the fireman what happened? I really enjoyed your post! Visiting via FTSF.
ReplyDeleteYes, the firemen still came in--it was awful! And even though I kept saying "It's just the stupid cup I put in the microwave!" there is some sort of state law that says they have to check the whole building!
ReplyDelete