Saturday, January 25, 2014

Who Needs Xanax Now?

It's entirely possible that I may end up punching the kitty cardiologist right in the face.

If you read my last blog (and if you didn't why not? You should click here and rectify that IMMEDIATELY...wait, does that sound desperate?), you know that Princeton P Kitty has been seeing a kitty cardiologist and that the cardiologist thinks that my poor cat is "high strung" and needs tranquilizers before future cardiology visits. He gave us a prescription for kitty Xanax and then said "But test it out on him before the day you bring him, just in case he experiences any adverse side effects."

Which probably sounds like great advice.

But I gave Prince the test dose last Monday morning, and now what I wish the cardiologist had said was "FYI: Some cats react to tranquilizers like they're on a bad acid trip and completely freak out and run around the house banging into walls and screaming at the top of their lungs...and since your life seems to be one bizarre catastrophe after another, that's probably what will happen to Prince."

THAT would have been much more helpful.

It also would have saved our regular vet a couple of hysterical phone calls in which I screamed things like "He's DYING, do you hear me? My cat is having a PSYCHOTIC DEATH ATTACK!  What do you mean, let him sleep it off??! HE JUST TRIED TO WALK UP THE WALL!!"

It also would have prepared me for the fact that I would have to restrain the cat in his crate until the drugs finally wore off.

It is interesting to note that the whole reason we were supposed to give tranquilizers to this poor animal in the first place is that he freaks out when we put him in the crate and take him to the cardiologist.

And the crate situation was made infinitely worse by the introduction of hallucinogenic drugs...I put him in the crate to protect him from himself and HE CRIED AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS FOR FIVE STRAIGHT HOURS.

Which made the dogs start crying...which made me start crying...and I couldn't even leave because I was afraid he'd start having fits or got so bad that Opie actually offered to take a vacation day and come home from work.

So, let me just say, we have to go back to the cardiologist in the next week or so and if he says ONE FREAKING WORD about lowering Princeton's stress level, I am throwing caution to the winds and jacking him RIGHT IN THE FACE.

It might be a good idea to start doing a little research and seeing if we have other kitty cardiologists in the area.

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