First Sentence Friday again and this
week’s sentence is: One of the most embarrassing things I ever did was:
And that is a LONG list to choose
from…but the first one that jumped to mind was this:
One of the most embarrassing things
I ever did was…set the high school on fire. Well, not completely. But sort of…and
it wasn’t ALL my fault.
Here’s what you need to know:
1. High school librarians, while
very smart, are not omniscient. If you, for example, say to them "Hey, do
you think I can put this cup in the microwave?" and they reply "Sure,
why not?" This is not a guarantee of the cup's safe experience in the
microwave.
2. If you put a cup in the microwave
that is NOT microwave safe (unbeknownst to you and the librarians), set the
microwave for 2 minutes and walk away to go get a packet of tea, that cup can
quite easily catch on fire.
3. If you see the cup on fire, yell
the f word and then open the microwave, that does NOT make the fire go out.
4. If you set a fire in the
microwave at a SCHOOL, which apparently has the most sensitive smoke detectors
ON THE PLANET, the fire alarm will go off throughout the whole building.
5. If you call the building secretary and assure her that the fire in the microwave is out and not a
concern AFTER THE ALARM HAS ALREADY
GONE OFF, that does NOT mean everyone can stay in the building. The fire
department, you see, has already been notified and is on the way to the
building with full lights and sirens to rescue all the children from the
flames. Everyone must still exit.
6. If there is an emergency
evacuation of the building during LUNCH, the administrators of the building
find this slightly troublesome to deal with...this is definitely NOT the time
to joke around and say things like "We always said we should see if we're
really prepared for an emergency...heh, heh, heh...you're welcome...heh, heh,
heh."
7. When you return to the building, after having caused this disaster AND ruined the microwave and your favorite mug in one fell swoop, it is difficult, MAKE THAT BORDERLINE IMPOSSIBLE, to find someone to make you a cup of tea...even if your poor little nerves are so frayed you really need one.
For other more embarrassing stories,
hopefully much worse than mine, click the link below:
