Got Milk?

Here's a fun fact you may or may not have known:

Milk explodes.

I don't, of course, mean all milk. I'm not suggesting that we need to be on the lookout for radioactive cows or that the average American refrigerator is a ticking time bomb of unstable dairy.

I am, however, prepared to definitively state the following:

If, as a loving wife, you buy your husband a plastic bottle of chocolate milk before vacation AND he doesn't drink the milk before the aforementioned vacation AND the milk spoils AND you take it out of the fridge and set it on your counter so he doesn't drink it by mistake AND you leave it there overnight so you can take it out to the recycling the next day AND the bottle gets somewhat hot because the sun apparently shines directly in that spot, your plastic bottle of chocolate milk can ACTUALLY EXPLODE. 

I dare anyone to ask me how I know.

I also just double dog dared Opie to set foot in this house tonight and say anything like "What's that weird smell?'"

And speaking of dogs, you should all pause and try to imagine the reaction of the two craziest dogs in the known universe when they are flopped down, holding the couch in place, and A BOTTLE OF MILK EXPLODES.

Drama does not begin to describe it.  And I can't even blame them because I seriously thought someone had fired a shot in the kitchen. 

In any case, in these situations, I usually take a few moments to advise Opie how best to comfort his wife but today I am too busy cleaning chocolate milk from every surface in the kitchen to be much help...though I did say chocolate is always a good choice but chocolate milk could result in physical violence.

It's entirely possible I will still be cleaning when he gets home. It's also entirely possible that I will never be able to get all the chocolate milk out of the kitchen we will be forced to move.

And don't even get me started on the smell.

Mickey looks like he's been
through the chocolate war.